Sunday, November 27, 2011

There Might Be A Light

Yesterday I was able to get a computer guy over to the shop.  He and his wife came, left, came back with an older dumbed down computer (though suped up for the processor) and HE FIXED IT!  HE FIXED IT, HE FIXED IT, HE FIXED IT!!!!!!

Both were actually very interested in what Shawn could do.  The husband needs a new sign for his store.  The wife was interested in customized decor.  WHOO-HOO!!!!!

I called our mechanic the day after Thanksgiving and left a message on his machine.  He called and said he'd get the struts on & we can take a look at the Jeep Grand Cherokee on Monday.  I MIGHT HAVE A RIDE SOON!!!!!  That's a good thing because we'll be needing groceries & laundry very soon.  (There's no room for these things in Shawn's truck)

I did lose 5 of the 6 pounds I had gained over vacation (probably all due to being so friggin' stressed out) but I think I may have gained it back over the last three days.  Both our moms sent us home with enough food for six months.  I froze most of it but I've been eating like a crazed pig for three days.  Oh well.

The Jeep will most likely suck up more gas money but we don't really have a choice right now.  And Shawn's truck is old and worn.  We've spent nearly $300 on gas in his truck alone and it's not even the 30th yet.

I sure hope this business takes off with rapid speed.  We're gonna need it.  We cannot even afford to get the gas turned on in the shop so there's no heat and winter is well on its way.

But yes, even the most negative person can fully admit that the tide is indeed turning.....

Friday, November 25, 2011

Tick Tock

Christopher Titus is a stand up comedian whose mother was schizophrenic.  There's evidence that such a disease is hereditary and can manifest itself within the child well into adulthood.  "Tick, Tock!" Titus says.  "Crazy's comin'!!"  As if there's some sort of timer counting down tot he exact moment when it hits.

I know the feeling.

Shawn got a small used oven for his powder coating and showed up at my job to pick me up.  Then his truck would not start.  We placed the oven inside the building and I attempted to back the work place delivery van back into place.  It would not start.  My boss, a coworker & Shawn all stuck their hands under the hood.

My boss' truck was still running as he was going to take Shawn & me home.  "Allan," I called out.  "Do you want me to shut off your truck?"
"NO!!"  It's the only thing running!" Allan hollered.
"Don't touch it!" Shawn screamed (with a smile).  I'd already had a running gag that everything that went wrong was because I had touched it.  I had used Patti's cell phone a few days earlier and then it wouldn't work.  Because I touched it.

Shawn's brother-in-law helped out with replacing a starter.  In the back of my mind was the $450 we had just spent on Shawn's truck 2 weeks ago.

Tick, tock.

Shawn had thought he had the computer issue figured out.  He spent the entire morning watching the instructional DVD that came with the PlasmaCAM.  I attempted to recreate was on the DVD.  Understand first that in the DVD, the computer being used in the example is from 1998, quite literally.  The computer we are using was purchased a few weeks ago in the year 2011.  This is the manual you receive with the purchase of a $7000 machine.  I suppose they cannot spring for an update, what with the economy and all.

The menus in the BIOS configuration or whatever, simply did not exist and I was running out Friday.  What computer repair place is going to make a service call on a Saturday?

Tick, tock.

Our super trustworthy mechanic has a Jeep Cherokee that the owner had surrendered due to lack of payment for repairs.  However the mechanic had closed the shop for the day after Thanksgiving.  What a great time to be without a car!

The weekend is a terrible time to need computer repairs, to be without a car, and just sucks in general.

Tick, tock.

Maybe crazy has already come & I just haven't realized it yet.  After all, crazy people don't know they're crazy.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Letters

I wrote a letter to the newspaper:

I was almost home when my car was struck by another driver.  The driver was not looking forward at all, ran a stop sign and totaled my car.  At least that’s what her insurance company deemed it--totaled.

I pay my insurance premiums each and every month.  My insurance company works for me and now I am forced to work with another insurance company.  They tried to trick me and swindle me and eventually gave me a price for my car that was not acceptable.  Of course if I stop paying my premiums, my company would drop me instantly.   But what happens when it is their time to pay?

I have never been treated so disrespectfully in my life.  The insurance company yanked away the rental car they had provided me the day I picked up the check, the day before Thanksgiving.  I cannot afford a car payment and so now I am forced to buy whatever used garbage I can find for the measly amount paid to me by the insurance company.  And in a hurry. 

I took care of my car, inside and out and in a single second, all that was gone.  We work hard for the things we have and the insurance companies take it all away with one trick, one signature, one lousy dollar amount.  It is an industry fueled by greed and perks. 

As a nation, as hard working folks who pay their bills and do everything they're supposed to do, I say we band together and join forces to see that something be done about the legalized swindlers.  Occupy Insurance Companies.  Now there’s a worthy cause.



I also am working on a letter the insurance adjuster.  I haven't sent it yet & may revise it but you get the idea: 

Dear Ms. Jensen,

At some point in our conversations you said to me, “I’m not that kind of person,” implying that I was accusing you of something underhanded.  Apparently you are.  In our veryfirst phone conversation you tried to trick me into having the car released, knowing that was my only bargaining chip.  And I should not have to bargain for the price of my car.  I have always paid my own insurance premiums but when it comes time for the insurance company to pay up, we customers always are forced to take the short end of the stick.

Your first offer was a downright insult.  And you pulled the rental the day I picked up the check, the day before Thanksgiving.  How vindictive of you.  I am assuming you did this because you found me rude.  I was not going to allow myself to be treated as doormat.  I had to fight for a second offer that I was not happy with and as far as I am concerned, you were just as rude to me as I was to you.

You cannot tell me that you don’t receive bonuses.  Why would such a large company fed by money expect you to save them cash if you were making an hourly rate?  I’d expect that you see many perks and incentives to do your job well.  And in their eyes, I suppose you do.  Well done.

As I write this, it is Thanksgiving Day.  I have no car and not nearly enough money to get a decent one.  I cannot afford a car payment so I am forced to buy whatever I find for under $8,000.  I do not even have the time or the means to shop for a car and this is all because one young lady could not look forward while driving.  It is also because insurance companies spout out a ridiculous number & we are forced to take it.

You people take away everything that is owed to a person with a single signature.  You trick people and swindle them and somehow it’s all legal.  I don’t see how you people wake up each morning and feel good about yourselves.  And you expect us to trust you!  That’s the most laughable thing I’ve ever heard.

I wish we had never met and I hope we never meet again.  I also hope that someday you are in a position similar to mine and you have to fight for everything you have and someone else is sitting at a desk, ready to take it away.  Perhaps then you will learn the meaning of the word “empathy”.

Dog Eat Dog

Everything is shit.  Just when I start thinking, "This has to go right because everything else has gone wrong", something else goes so majorly wrong.  The insurance company screwed me regardless of how many steps I took to protect myself.  That adjuster can choke on her year end bonus.  I don' see how people like that wake up in the morning & feel good about themselves.  I have no car & can't afford a car payment.  I have to go out & just buy whatever we find.

So far, there is nothing out there in good condition for under $8,000.  I took care of my car & I got shit for it.  It was 7 years old and had only 72,000 miles on it.  I'm realizing by yesterday's shopping venture that is not normal for that old of a car.

There are major problems with the PlasmaCAM and I cannot contact tech support because it's freaking Thanksgiving.  I hate computer shit.  By Tuesday night I was broken.  I was hyperventalating, shaking violently, crying uncontrolablly.  After my late night shower, I collapsed on the floor in a naked, wet heap and buried my face in the towel and just bawled.

I haven't wanted a cigarette this bad since I first quit.  Everyone smells like cigarettes.  God, I need a cigarette.  Shawn gets to smoke.  Why can't I smoke?  It's not fair that I can't smoke!!!!!

Today is Thanksgivving and I don't have a car.  The insurance pulled the rental as soon as I picked up the check & signed over the title to my Mazda.  Cute.  Real cute.

If all this shit is to prepare me for something bigger, to make me stronger for something else....God help me when that something else comes along.  It's enough to make you want to take a handful of pills.

Readers, please look straight ahead AT THE FUCKING ROAD when you drive.  And when you are about to run into something PUT ON THE FUCKING BRAKES!!!

I hope someday the insurance adjuster goes through soemthing similare to what I have been going through.  ANd I hope she is forced to bend over and be sodomized financially. 

I feel like Murphy's Law has vomited on both me & Shawn. 

I nearly got hit taking back the rental.  It was, after all, the day before Thanksgiving around 5pm.  Someone was changing lanes and took it for granted that my lane was open but I was in it.  I stomped on the brake, nearly standing up in my seat, pushed my hand on the horn hard enough to draw everyone's attention.  Dear God, just let me get this stupid expensive rental car back to the place without wrecking it.   That's all I need.

I told Patti on Wednesday what had happened in great detail.  She came in for a hug.  "If you hug me, I'm gonna cry," I said.  "That's OK!" she said.  Patti squeezed me hard & I began to sob.  My face was already swollen, puffy, red.  I'd woke up crying and my eyes looked like I'd been in a fight.  Technically, I had.

Lucy is losing weight again.  Zoe thinks we've abandoned her.  I haven't pooped, slept, or eaten much since all this started. 

All I have to say at this point is that this all had better be fucking worth it.

I'm so disgusted and fed up.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Watch Out For The Other Guy Part Two

"I'll be sure to look out for the other guy when riding with you!" Shawn joked.  We cleared out all my belongings from the car and into Shawn's truck.  The Little Red Rocket car was dead.  Or at least dying.  I wasn't sure yet.

I called my insurance first and the lady I spoke with was so sweet and kind.  She put us through a three-way call with the other driver's insurance so she could help me.  I was even in a rental the next day.  Mom was in town on Friday and went with us to the tow yard so I could take photos.  She was a little freaked out when she saw the car.  The night before she was almost crying.  "If something happened to you right now I couldn't handle it!"  She has a lot on her plate.  Last year she lost a cousin to stomach cancer.  Another cousin has been in the VA, hanging by a thread for weeks with, of course, cancer.  Her brother, her last surviving immediate family, will be moving in with her and Dad as he undergoes chemo therapy and radiation for....you guessed it.  The C Word runs prevalent in our family.  She lost her mother to brain cancer when I was just seven years old.

So you can imagine her heart dropping to her gut when she called and Shawn told her I'd been in (another) car accident.

The issues at hand right now are dealing with getting the shop in order so Shawn can produce a product along with the missing knowledge of whether or not we'll have to deal with car shopping to go along side of this great feat.

The problem I have with all of this is that I didn't intend to smash up my car.  I did not make the mistake.  So why should I have to settle for a used car that I have no idea how it was cared for?  I cared for my vehicle and kept it clean.  I was always diligent about the oil and brakes and fluids.  I had a brand new inspection sticker, a brand new registration sticker and a full tank of gas.  Who is going to pay for a new one?

Why should I settle for an unknown used car when I could have a newish car or my own car?!  The blue book value of my car is $9,100.  Originally we paid $14,000 for the Mazda 3 and as far as I am concerned, the insurance should give me enough to cover the cost of another newish Mazda 3.  But they will not because insurance is nothing more than legalized swindling.  And there's nothing you can do about it.  I paid my insurance premiums.  That other chick paid her insurance premiums AND she was quite capable of driving away.  Why should I be the one to deal with the many hassles and arguings and freaking nightmares that make up the establishment of the dreaded insurance company?

She made the mistake.  She ought to spend an entire weekend at the car lots.  Alight, so now I am simply being bitter.  It's just the worst timing ever!  So I decided to be more positive about it.  If I do have to get another car, perhaps I can get one that has never been smoked in.  The trunk button didn't work and the blinkers stuck anyways.  The driver's side door was leaking and there was a cigarette burn in the seat from Shawn taking the car to school so many nights.

On the other hand, if it is able to be fixed I won't have to deal the dreaded sharks at the car lots.  I hate car salesman almost as much as I hate lawyers.  If it doesn't drive well afterward, we can sell the car later when we the business is steaming ahead and I have more free time.

It appears that I am in a quandary.  Shawn's been trying to be more positive, so will I.
Last night is a good example.  We stopped by the shop and he explained to me a horrible problem withthe electrical.  As he poked around in back, I sat and cried quietly.  Later, in the parking lot of Lowe's, we decided to eat at Wes' Burgers for dinner.  I had a menu at home that said they were open till 10 on Fridays and Saturdays.  It was only 8 o'clock.  I told Shawn if we got there and they were closed, I was going to get out of the car and just completely freak out.

"Right on Main Street, huh?" he asked.
"Yep!" I answered and let out a loud, sinister laugh.  "MWA-HA-HA!"
Of course, when we arrived at Wes' the sign had been changed and now they are only open till 3pm Monday through Friday.  "What kinda hell restaurant closes at three on a Friday?!" I exclaimed.

"Are you ready?" Shawn asked as I pulled onto Third Street.
"For what?" I asked.
Shawn then proceeded to throw a fit like someone having a violent seizure.

Drained emotionally and physically, tired of problems and upsets, I looked at Shawn in the gleam of late night street lamps, and I laughed.
Then we went to a freakin' Arbys!

In short, I am thankful to God that I was not hurt.  Yes, I am irritated that I had just gotten gas and that this just HAD to happen RIGHT NOW and if I had not gotten gas I would have missed that chick by five minuets.  My neck was pretty sore Friday but I told no one.  I figured it would eventually go away and by Saturday morning it was only a little sore.



God was looking out for me and I truly believe all this has been a mere test, along with the 76,925 other tests we'd had the previous two weeks.  God is trying to make me stronger for whatever reason.  And yeah, I do believe we'll laugh about this one day.  One day when the business is rocking and rolling, we'll tell the story of the nightmares and in the midst of all that, Misty got hot by a stop sign runner!  MAW-HA-HA!!!!!

And yet we still prevailed.

I was thinking last night, as I sat on a stool in an empty building, tears running down my face, I am not strong.  After hearing the problems with the electrical, I felt as though the entire world must be against us.  That, and some forces beyond this world.  Perhaps after all is said and done I can look up to the Heavens and say (and mean it) I am strong.



And yes, I did apologize to that chick for my initial reaction.  For those of you that wondered.....

Watch Out For The Other Guy Part One

                                                                                see more pics in next post

"You're so lucky," Shawn said.
I looked at my car, crumpled on one side and sitting in my neighbors lawn.  I looked up at Shawn and replied in a sarcastic manner, "Yeah.  I'm the luckiest girl int he world."


Six and a half years ago, I had been at my job a five full days when I landed myself downtown.  A Dodge RAM pickup ran a stop sign.  I pressed my foot to the brake as hard as I could, the tires squealed on the pavement.  Oh, God.  I'm not gonna stop, I thought. 

Impact.  My seat belt pulled taught and my body went forward.  The front of my Geo Metro crumpled like a wad of discarded paper.  The truck pulled forward and a lady came out of house, running toward me, screaming, "ARE YOU OK?!" 

The driver of the truck never budged.  I could not open my driver door so I crawled out through the window which was previously rolled down.  Fluids ran all over the street from under my car as I lit a cigarette. 

The driver was a young restricted one who was no supposed to drive without an adult yet.  The passenger was another girl in a white button shirt and too-short plaid skirt.  High-schoolers, in other words.  The girl never got out of the truck to check on me, or asked if I was OK.  She never apologized and in fact, told the police officer (who was on his period that day; he was a real dick to me) that I was driving too fast!  Me!  I was not, but even if I was, it would not matter because she drove through the stop sign like it never existed. 

Regardless, the cop didn't even ticket the girl.  I suppose her skirt was just the right length.

The insurance gave us $2000 for the car which was fine because we only paid $2200 for the plastic car.  Shawn really wanted to see me in something new, to paranoid to have me breaking down without a big strong man to care for me.  God bless that man, he really does look out for me, no matter how cynical I become. 

Time was almost up on my two week car rental the insurance had provided when late one night, someone lost control on a raining road and took out all the shiny new Mazda Tributes lined up in front of the dealership.  Those vehicles would be repaired and made into loaners as the current loaners were being sold.  We snatched one up for a fair price with only 8,000 miles. 

My very first newish car!  I was so proud of it and washed it every single week.  A month after signing our names tot he loan papers, my neighbor backed into the driver's side door, with Shawn in it.  The insurance company were real jerks, the body work people were real jerks.  They painted the used door on my newish car the wrong color.  We argued (again) to get it right.  A few years later the seal on the door broke down, whistled in the wind and let rain water seep in.  Sigh.


Present Day.
Shawn and I are working like hell to get the new business going.  This is not merely another eBay venture.  We have a rented space, equipment, machinery, and huge mortgage payment after refinancing to obtain the cash.  We've both been scrambling like mad to get things done and everything has been a total nightmare.  Nothing has been easy.  Even something as routine as getting the water turned on has been a complete hassle.  We've had trials and tribulations regarding every step and turn thus far. 

Thursday, Shawn was home.  He'd been vomiting all morning.  Oh, God!  He doesn't have time to be sick.  I don't have time to get sick!  On the way home I filled my nearly empty gas tank and was thankful I had gotten off work early.  I had so much to do!

I was head south on 1st street with no stop sign for my side.  I had just turned so I wasn't driving very fast at all.  A black car approached from my left.  The blue car had a stop sign and I took it for granted she would stop.  I saw something large in my peripheral vision and turned.  The front of the black car was inches away from me.

Within a one or two second time frame, my mind raced.  I never realized my mind could work so ridiculously fast.  Hit the car horn.  Too late.  She's gonna hit you.  Speed up?  Brake?  Too late.  You're gonna get hit.  There's nothing you can do.

The car was sent forward.  My body was sent forward and my head went down.  The noise from my mouth surprised me.  It was a sharp, "OH!"  I looked up.  I was facing the wrong direction.  And sitting in someone's front lawn.

Now, I would like to say that my first thought was, "Thank you God that I am alright."  But I ashamed to admit that it was not.  I have a fight or flight response to most situations and that's exactly what came out of me.  The black Honda Civic had parked a few feet away.  I flung open my driver door and jumped out the car hollering, "WHERE WERE YOU LOOKING??!!!!!!"

It's a natural response for someone hard wired not to walked on like a door mat.  "I'm so sorry!  I'm so sorry!" A young lady was running up to me as I sat in the car muttering over and over, "I don't have time for this!"  She had a lit cigarette in her hand.

"You need to step back with cigarette!" I snapped harshly.  "I recently quit!"  She immediately took three gigantic steps back saying, "I'm sorry!"  She was crying.

I could have easily snatched that smoke from her hand and taken a long, deep, soothing, delicious drag.  I knew this would pass.  It always did.  I popped two fresh pieces of nicotine gum and was fine within a minuet.  Well, "fine" would not describe what I was feeling. 

Britanny and I made sure we were both alright, I ended up consoling her, believe it or not.  "I'm OK, and you're OK.  This stuff is just stuff and it can fixed or replaced.  It's no big deal."  This was her first accident and I told her there was a first time for everything.  I explained to her I would call the police, we'd file a report and that wouldn't be a big deal either.

I called Shawn and asked for the number of the police.  He later told me I loved how nonchalant I was about it all over the phone.  A few minuets later he pulled up and surveyed the situation.  The brunt of the force was taken in the backseat.  My rear end spun and popped up on the curb.  The tire dug into the dirt and slid, creating a nice skid mark in the lawn.  The other tire bent inward as it was dragged upward onto the curb.

Shawn said, "That's how they flip in NASCAR.  You're so lucky you weren't going faster; you would've flipped."  He also noted the stop sign in the other side of the intersection.  If my car hadn't dug into the dirt that was the lawn (it hasn't rained in months) I might've slid right into the stop sign pole, creating a hit from the other side.

The police and a tow came.  The chick did not make excuses with the cop; told him she just blew right threw the stop sign.  She apologized to me a few thousand times and was pretty freaked out about it.  Once my hands stopped shaking and the adrenaline had began to subside, I was OK, but still pretty irked this had happened, now, today.

It they totalled the car, we'd have to go car shopping with half the amount the car had cost.  We drained our savings sending Shawn to school and with the refinance, the option of a car loan is nonexistent.  If they fixed the car, it would never drive the same.

It's funny the things that go through your mind while waiting on the police and the tow truck.  The day before I was telling Patti about how wrong everything was going with the business.  Between having to deal with all that, work, and my every day things, I was on the verge of losing it.  "There is a light at the end of your tunnel, Misty," she said.  "I think there's a BIG light at the end!"

"I think someone's turned off the electricity to the tunnel," I replied.  Each night that week, I felt SO guilty for not spending time with my newish puppy.  We had a night time routine and we played and she'd sit on my lap and lick hand and nibble my fingers.  Teething is a bitch!  Each night as I put her in the bathroom for bed, I say to her, "Tomorrow will be better."

 Indeed.

Car Accident Photos