Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Anxiety

been thinking about getting some couseling at a church or soemthing, somewhere free.  I'm right there, right on the edge.  I've got many people crying on my shoulder.  I cannot comfort them, just listen and shoulder what burden I can.  I'm stressed from my job, I'm stressed from hatring my job.  I'm stressed over our small business.  I'm stressed because shawn comes home looking for things to be upset about if he already isn't and exhales air that makes me upset.

I'm stressed about money, weight gain, loan payments, lack of sleep, too much whiskey.  I'm stressed because the perswon who told me a deep dark secret months ago now wants it known to another certain person.  And this person has asked me to be there for moral support, to speak when this person is crying too much to speak.  We have to keep this tight, from leaking outward to other people.  There is so much shame.  Do I have the strength for this person?  I cry over what happened.  I cry because I can't fix it.  I cry because of things to come.

I've been crying for 20 minuets.  I cannot stop.

God, if you're out there, listening....
I just want my life to be simple.  Less complicated.  Simple.


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