Tidbits

I read in a magazine that every pair of dirty underpants has one-tenth of a gram of feces,

Not my underpants!  I don’t know what the rest of you people are doing, but I wipe!!  Then, I go through about six baby wipes afterward because I prefer to be REALLY clean.  I dare you to find any fecal materials in my underpants.

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I place make-up in the same category as hot dogs.  Everyone loves hot dogs.  You don’t know what’s in ‘em, you just know you like ‘em.  It’s better off that we do not know for sure what’s in a hot dog.  I personally have always believed they are nothing more than leftover parts, the beaks and the feets. 

Make-up is much the same way.  It was only a couple years ago I had learned that foundation had a base of animal fats.  Ew.  Did not need to know that at all.  Women (and a few men) love their make-up.  We go to great lengths to find just the perfect type, the perfect shade, the perfect match.  But we really don’t want to know what’s in it.

On The Discovery Channel, I watched “Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe”.  Mike had visited a pig farm where Las Vegas Buffet leftovers were recycled into pig slop.  The mess was sifted through by hand to remove non-food items, then boiled in what appeared to be the world’s largest soup can.  As it boiled, the fat and grease rose to the top and filtered into another area.  Mike asked, “What do you do with that?”  The pig farmer replied, “We sell it to cosmetics companies.”

Hmm.  Really didn’t want to know that!

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Couple days ago, I gave the dogs some flea medication.  It was a pill I had to split in two and crush into a fine powder because the little one, Lucy, will spit it out if she just slightly taste it.  I put the powder into little balls of cheese.  The dogs rarely get cheese and when they do, it’s simply a taste because I’m so paranoid about getting them constipated.  They’ve both got stomach issues so I’m careful about what People Food they get.

The dogs LOVE cheese!  And for Lucy to spit it out with mere crumbs of medicine in it--you can see how picky little dogs are.  So I divided it into several little balls for Lucy.  Our other dog, Prissy, licked the plate in one wide swoop and her cheese balls were gone.  I stood over Lucy so Prissy wouldn’t get a double dose.

Lucy picked up a cheese ball in her mouth, placed it on the floor.  She picked up another from the plate, placed it on the floor.  Sigh.  She finally began to chew on the cheese and looked comical as she smacked her jaws together as though she had just taken a huge bite of peanut butter.  About ten minuets later, Lucy has FINALLY finished all of the cheese while poor Prissy was searching nearby for more.

I was so paranoid I had gotten them backed them, I made a big bowl of vegetables for my supper and fed them all the broccoli they wanted.  I later had some Fiber One cereal and fed them more of that than I usually allow them.

I figured I may have upset things even worse as these two opposing forces would be battling it out within the dogs’ stomachs over the next two days.  So far, so good.  The dogs spent yesterday outside, so I’m not sure if they pooped or their bellies are in turmoil.

Ok, that’s all.  I don’t have kids so every once in a blue moon I have to tell a boring dog story.  Be grateful I don’t talk about my pets as though they were my kids.  I might be a little off, but I’m not like those crazy-cat people.  My dogs do not have more outfits than I do.  And they only get dressed in the bitter winter.  So there.