Backslider

Ever since last weekend, I haven't read my Bible.  I was almost diligent about it when I needed something.  And it isn't like, Oh I got what I asked for, now I don't need God any more.  That's not how I feel at all.  I've just gotten really, really lazy about it.  Of course I still need the Lord, and of course I still need to study the Bible and fix other areas in my body, attitude and mind. 

Why all of a sudden am I being so lazy about it all?  This is typical for me.  I am always doing this, going back and forth.  I've been praying for God to draw me in, give me a want to study the Bible, to pray more.  I feel so guilty for being lazy after God had done so much for me delivering me from the e-cig. 

I want to feel God's presence and I also want God's presents.  (that was a Joyce Meyer joke)  Why does it always seem that I have to reach rock bottom to seek God?  When am I gonna grow up?