Untitled

"Well, I didn't know if I was allowed to speak," I said.
"I didn't want you telling everyone we gave our shit away!!" Shawn snapped.
"You have no idea what I was going to say before you stomped your big shoe on my bare foot!  Next time, why don't you check to see if I'm wearing sneakers?"

And that was pretty much it.  We didn't speak for most of Sunday.  Shawn went to hospital; I decided I would wait and go on my own.  He called to let me know they were sending her home.  Ma would need 3 shots each day of Cumiden, a blood thinner and she'd be taking something that would prevent her blood from clotting.  This mean that she cannot fall, she cannot cut herself, she may not nick her skin.  But it would also get rid of the blood clots in her lung.  Kind of a rock and a hard place.

Shawn went out to the house and returned for a short time, asking if I wanted to go back with him.  I told him I would go tomorrow after work...on my own.

Truth be told, in that conversation in the hospital room, I was going to tell Ma we had sold some Star Wars toys and didn't get much for them.  We had bought them for the purposes of resale and the price of collectible toys had dipped down to practically nothing.

I suppose if we were to have that yard sale I always said I would have, I should keep that a secret as well.  Seems stupid, doesn't it?  I wanted to ask him when he became so mean.  I clean his house, I cook his dinners (he usually won't eat if I don't cook) I wash his clothes, I remind him--a grown man--to brush his teeth and oh, don't forget deodorant.  I pick up after him daily, the multitudes of soda cans, the dirty clothes, empty the overflowing ashtrays.   I suppose I should just keep my mouth shut and do the things a woman is supposed to do.


After Dylan's graduation, we were finally settling into bed for the night.  He started talking about having a kid, again.  "I am really, one hundred percent ready to have a kid," he said.  Well, I'm not ready to have to take care of two people right at this moment.