Lucy Hates Carpet

 Underneath, Lucy is completely bald.  Her belly and chest are as soft as a newborn baby, and as wrinkled as an eighty-year-old man

My sense of smell is out of control and to tell you that story, I must first tell you this story.  We have two small Chihuahuas living with us and it’s normally a pleasure but as with any roommates, it can also be a hassle.

Lucy appeared on my front lawn as I pulled up to the curb after a long day at work.  She was barely three pounds heavy, covered with fleas, literally half bald, and full-on starving.  The first two weeks were a little rough as I kept her in the laundry room, separated from our ten pounds of sweetness, aptly named, Prissy.  It was apparent that Lucy had been abused.  Someone had once been very cruel to her and it took a full two weeks for her to warm up to me.

After getting her checked out by the vet, getting shots and having years of plaque scraped from her teeth, I set Lucy free into the house where she immediately set herself up as The Dominate One.  She quickly began her ascent into a healthy, still half-bald, leader of the pack.  She also marked each room.  Repeatedly.

I’ve always gone easy on Lucy, I guess because of her unknown past.  She absolutely loathes strangers, no matter how many times they come over.  For example, Shawn’s brother used to visit us once a week and no matter how many times Lucy saw him, she would attempt a Rottweiler attack each and every visit.  She startles quite easily and snarls at the other pets if they simply get too close to her.

So, Lucy has issues, to say the least.  Soon after we got her I told my dad I almost sorry we’d kept her.  He told me that God had placed that dog specifically in my front lawn at the precise moment that I would pull up in my car because I was meant to have her.

Tell that to my rug.

Normally, Lucy will go to the back door, or if it’s very cold, use the pee pad I’ve laid out for her in the laundry room.  And yet, even to this day, after all this time--years even--she still pees on the living room rug.  She only does this if I am not around so I can’t possibly catch her.  How am I to punish her when I cannot catch her?

It wasn’t really until I quit smoking that I realized how bad it had gotten.  The carpeting in our living room is a hodge-podge of stains, color loss, and God-Knows-Where-That-Came-From sort of markings so it’s difficult to tell when a new stain is born.  My sense of smell has of lately been heightened to a level that could be toned down in my opinion and as such, the entire living room smells like dog urine.

It has gotten to be so bad that I cannot be in that room for more than a few minuets.  My parents came over a couple weeks ago and I so paranoid of the smell, I saturated every fiber with a mixture of fabric softener and water from a spray bottle.  No one mentioned noticing the pee smell.  I made sure of that because I asked Mom about it later.

I’m supposed to get Mom’s carpet shampooer sometime this week but the moment cannot come fast enough for me.  I usually borrow the shampooer from her every three months or so and have even considered buying one myself if I could come up with the cash.  Once I obtain Mom’s magical carpet washer, I can fill it with all sorts of inane chemicals and scented cover-ups.  Until then, I’ll just have to hold my breath.