I want Cheetos and I want cake!

An email to April....

I read an article by a gal who eats only all natural, organic, healthy, etc.  For a week, she ate only what she saw advertised on TV inlcuding fast food, sit down resatuarants, packaged, frozen stuff.  What happened to her physically & mentally was fascinating.

She ate some frozen pizza rolls, said they smelled like pizza but tasted like a Jelly Belly version of pizza.  Everything had an exaggerated flavor but by the end of the week, that flavor explosion was passing.  She was bloated, constipated, in a bad mood.

I would LOVE to eat like this chick eats on a normal basis but what am I supposed to do, get up at 2am to make my own bread with $12 unprocessed flour and make my own Miracle Whip from $8 eggs?  I know it would do marvels for my skin, but who can really eat like that?

I'm only just to the point of trying NOT to eat cheetos.  It's becoming an obsession.  I think about food all day.  I argue with myself and it's a real battle not to run to the dollar store down the street for junk.  I do get to where fried food just tastes nasty, I crave broccoli but I also crave chocolate cake like a heroin junkie for a fix.

I discovered Fiber One bars in a fluke while killing time for a doctor's appt.  I was hungry, didn't want to kill time at Whataburger and walked around Big Lots.  I am sure it's loaded with processed sugars and chemicals, but I figure if I load up on fiber, at least I'm going--sometimes running--to the bathroom.  It's helpful, if only to keep my bloat down.

i went 4 days without using elliptical & felt SO guilty.  Yesterday I managed 15 min & felt like I was going to die.  I felt like I did really good all day food-wise, then got hungry right before bed.  I had a turkey & cheese sandwich--then went to bed.  I was so upset with myself this morning you'd think I'd ran over my neighbor's dog. 

I need therapy.  I also need to blog instead of bothering you.  I only bother you because I know you know this evil obsession all too well.  (I still haven't lost the steroid weight)


Explanation:  About 6 weeks ago I had a heinous sinus infection.  The doc gave me steroids on top of antibiotics.  I ate everything in sight (including an ENTIRE store-bought cake) for about 5 days and gained about 5 pounds.  That's nearly traumatizing for someone with my sort of mentality.