The Miracle of Fiber

I've been constipated since my mother put me on solid foods.  About a year ago I discovered fiber in the form of yogurt and tasty cereal.  Fiber One Caramel Delight breakfast cereal was an absolute treat!  The problem is, I can't just sit down with a bowl.  I have to eat half the box.  Then I'm painin' for the next two days. 

I have no self control and the cereal, while delicious, has a lot of sugar.  So I quit buying it.  I quit buying a lot of things.  I cannot even have brown sugar in the house because I'll actually get into it with a spoon.  I know what you might say but in my opinion, a heroin junkie quits his heroin using friends.  I have done the same with certain foods. 

I added fiber chews (Equate brand are tasty and non-chalky) to my daily routine, got whole grain bread, discovered broccoli for the first time in my life.  Here's the thing about fiber:  While it doesn't necessarily make me feel full, it gets things moving.  Embarrassed?  Everybody poops.  Get over yourself. 

For the first time in my 29 years years, I'm going nearly everyday.  I'm even stopping up the toilet!  I call my husband, The Maintenance Man (he really is for his day job) to come plunge the toilet.  After so much practice, I've gotten better at it, but I don't tell him.  What?  He's done dishes approximately 3 times in our marriage.  Yeah, it's totally fair to get the husband to plunge the toilet when I just don't feel like doing it.

Here's another neat tidbit I learned about my obsession:  We're saving money at the grocery store.  Without my snack habit, and having half a bag of frozen green beans for dinner (add garlic, 1 TBS of margarine, grated Parmesan cheese, and Italian seasoned bread crumbs) pretty regularly, we're saving a ton of money.  Although you wouldn't know it since prices have gone up so much on everything.

OK, so I didn't do so great yesterday (hello Fritos and half a can of Spaghettios--HELLO SALT!) but I'm slowly getting there.  I still cook for Shawn, his greasy, salt laden dinners, and I have some of it too sometimes.  But I'm eating veggies, pooping, and *shutter* exercising for the first time in my adult life.

I think it's a darn good start.