This is not the body I was born with

I pretty much gave up junk food.  I eat fast food maybe once every 2 months or so.  I've gotten to the point of hating anything from a package or box or the freezer-to-microwave section.  I started eating vegetables.  I began exercising.  I quit smoking!  I traded white bread for whole grain.  I upped my fiber intake dramatically and for the first time in my life I am pooping on a nearly daily basis.  I have almost weened myself from diet soda.

And yet I have not lost weight, my sex drive is near zero and I still feel like crap.  What on earth am I doing wrong?  The occasional junky weekend shouldn't set things in motion.  One Christmas dinner isn't going to undo 2 months of eating right.  So am I destined to have a spare tire?  To always hate my body?  To prefer t-shirts to hide my belly?  I refuse to beleive that yet I see no other alternative for the future!

For Pete's sake, WHAT AM I DOING WRONG???!!!!  Shouldn't I be seeing results by now?

Mom talked her own doctor about inhaled steroids & she said that those type of steroids are much different than what we think of as steroids.  So it's not my inhaler, my daily dose of Asmanex.  I try to go to bed early & most nights I succeed.  When the urge to snack mindlessly I opt for very low fat popcorn instead of my old potato chip friends.

When I get like this, I think it's not doing nay good & I may as well go back to bags of chips & Little Debbie snack cakes.  Mmm.  Swiss rolls.  Those were always my favorite and I cannot remember the last time I had some.  But of course I remind myself that eating this way is much cheaper and if I can feed myself on 50 cents worth of green beans, then Shawn can have steak and yes, we can still make the house payment

That's what started all this about 1.5 years ago.  We hit a financial snag so the first place I looked for cuts was the grocery store.  I cut out all junk food, getting Shawn a couple things if he wanted it.  Cooking with more chicken than beef, making homemade pizza instead of frozen...and so forth. 

I soon discovered my frozen vegetable suppers alone cut our grocery bill nearly in half. 

I don't want to be super ill-looking skinny.  I just want to have less overhang at my jeans waist, less jiggle on my thighs.  And I want to feel like someone my age ought to feel.  I need to have a day without feeling so tired, so yucky.  More than looking a certain way, I really just want to feel healthy.