Emotional Drainage

Slowly but surely I've been getting over the need to constantly eat.  When I do feel the need to snack mindlessly, I have popcorn.  As a result, I've lost 3 pounds within the last 3 weeks.  This places me at 111 pounds.  At my lowest, I weighed 107.  That was a result of a wisdom tooth being pulling and developing dry socket.  I didn't eat for a week.

This pleases me.  My cravings for cookies, cake and ice cream are not usually there.  Occasionally I crave something sweet so I have a fiber bar.  Less and less I am feeling the wanting for a big tub of lard.  Although after one particularly bad day at work, I swore up & down I'd stop for ice cream on the way home (I didn't).  Lately, hunger just seems to get in the way.  Eating seems like a chore, something to make me stop what I am doing.  Staying super busy until bed time was not my intention, but things have piled up on me. 

That may be a tip to some of you who cannot put down the bag of chips.  I have found that we can now finally maintain potato chips in the house, as long as they are the right kind.  Pringles are a neat option because I can have a handful, put the lid back on the can, and walk away (without coming right back!).  You can't do that with regular chips unless you get a bowl.  This way, Shawn can have his chips, and I can refrain from eating the entire package.



On another note, one reason for my busy-ness is our 13 year old dog.  Prissy was with us in the rent house and suffered many heaterless winters alongside her owners.  She's had stomach surgery, a wad of cat hair lodged behind her eyeball, our other dog's teeth around her neck...


This little dog has seen some days.  She wasn't feeling well for about four days.  I hoped it was a bug that would pass but it never did.  The vet told me she has an ear infection in both ears, a bad knee, probably artritis, and inflamed gums.

Good lord, we were just at the vet a couple of months ago!  The next day, Prissy was given a professional teeth cleaning, lost one tooth and sent home.  I'm administering her medications for the ear infection and I'm finding it's much easier than the last bout in February when I was giving her three pills per day.

I bought doggie steps for the foot of the bed.  If Shawn & I are both home, we're usually there, watching movies.  And of course, our dogs are in our laps.  I'm not freaking out about the cost of all this just yet.  Today I've been concerned for my dog's well-being.

After I squirted ear wash and antibiotics into her ears, I sat on the couch with Prissy in my lap as I gingerly stroked her back, ears, and neck until she was a hair away from being totally asleep.  I just began to pray, to beg Jesus to heal my dog.  I prayed and begged for about ten minuets.  I cried softly the entire time.  I need my dog to be better so I can chase her down the hallway.  I need her to bark at the mailman.  I need to see her humping her Hump Pillow, which she always drags out when company comes.

She just kind of mopes around.  She walks very slowly.  She sleeps mostly.  Where has her energy gone?  I just cried and cried.  I felt completely emotionally drained.  I don't dress my dogs in outfits or anything but they mean so much to me.  I don't expect people with kids to understand just as I can't understand people with kids.  When you don't have children, your pets are what you care for, raise and teach.  I don't refer to them as my "kids" but they keep me company.  They make me laugh.  They comfort me.  They give me stories to tell.  They give me something to come home to when Shawn still has a couple more hours at work or a night at school.

Now I just feel as though I need a nap.  I really need my little dog to be alright.