At Wit's End

I haven't been sleeping.  It finally caught up to me today.  I was at that point where I wasn't sure if I was awake or dreaming.  I operate heavy machinery and play in chemicals so I decided to over-caffinate.  Then I just felt weird.  I was anxious, still tired, but a little wirey.  I felt like I was a little high but all I had a was a 20 ounce Coke Zero.

After I made supper for Shawn, there was only one tortilla left so I decided to brown it in a pan as a snack for myself.

It burned.  I forgot about it.  That first picture?  I had never even flipped it.  It cooked from underneath.  You could play frisbee with this thing.  Or hammer a nail.  Or substitute a brick if you were building a home.

I got kind of upset last night because for a while, a month at least, Lucy hasn't sat in my lap.  Not even once.  She'll follow me from room to room, she'll sit in Shawn's lap, on his pillow, but she won't sit on me.  Even when I'd lay on my stomach, Lucy used to climb in between my reverse lap, just below my butt.  Shawn would occasionally place his hand on my rear end to mess with Lucy and she would nudge his hand away.  She hasn't done that for a while.

I was feeling extra lonely last night.  Lucy didn't want anything to with me.  Shawn came home from school early and I mentioned this to him.  I cried with perfect silence as I got Lucy her night time treat and straightened her bed.  Eventually Shawn caught me and I just cried and cried because I felt like I had lost two dogs.

Shawn seemed genuinely helpless.  "I wish I could do something for you," he said.
"I know," I replied.  "That's why I don't talk about it because you can't do anything; you can't say anything.  I'm still just having a really hard time with this!"

Lucy is the only dog I've ever had that doesn't play.  Every now and then we play a game of I'm Gonna Getchu around the doors to the hallway but it only lasts a minuet.  She has never played with toys in the five years that she's been here.  I know this isn't her fault; she must have had an awful life before I found her.  But I miss playing tug of war.  Prissy would latch her teeth onto a certain toy and I'd drag her around the living room.  I could throw the same ball four hundred times in a row.  Sometimes she's bring it back to me, sometimes she tricked me into playing fetch.

Prissy would garb certain toys and shake them like a rag with should vigor and growl and snarl in the process.  She loved her Taz doll.  This doll was as big as her and weighed almost as much.  It had a button on the hand that make Taz start shouting gibberish and his tongue would spin.  Every once in a while, Prissy could bite the hand just right, just perfectly and she'd seem so proud of myself.  Her little black eyes lit up as if to say, "Look!  I did it!"

I don't mean to compare.  I just wish Lucy played.  At the very least, she snarls at the cat when she walks through the living room.  She's not playing though.  Lucy hates that cat.  I need a dog in my lap right now.  I need to throw a ball for someone.

There's more good news.  I got an envelope from Shawn's dentist int he mailbox today.  I decided I wouldn't open it until tomorrow when I might be in a better mood.  And then I opened it.  Apparently we owe almost $300.  Shawn comes home and tell me that since the value of the US dollar is dropping, food is going up because, stupidly, it's a commodity.  Corn will go up 25% and Pepsi will go up 4%.  He just kept going on and on.  Oh, please do go on because this news makes everything better.  Gas goes up, the dollar drops.  The unemployment rate is something like 9%.  Food is already expensive because of gas prices.  All that stuff rides around on trucks, is grown and fed by people driving trucks, cars and van.  Now they wanna raise prices because the dollar has dropped so much.

It makes zero sense.  I read in the paper a quote by some political fascist who said something about people falsely thinking "we're still in a recession".  We're not just thinking it....we're saying it because IT'S TRUE, YOU DOLT!

What a cretin.

Next up....I will rant and rave about what the Supreme Court did about video game ratings.
This day just keeps getting better & better.